and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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