that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
