her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
