i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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