i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
