Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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