that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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