You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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