in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
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