moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Randomize
