He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I need to stop coming to work sober
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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