I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Randomize
