Porn is love you can see.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
