I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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