i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
He better not be in your backpack
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
