my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
