SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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