i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
