Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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