she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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