I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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