need another drink. this is the easiest way
He kissed a someone with a penis
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I am naked and annoyed.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
