True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
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