i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Randomize
