he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Randomize
