How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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