id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
