So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
