as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
He kissed a someone with a penis
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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