Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
You dont lie about slip and slides
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
