If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
