I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
