Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
