im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
