yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
