I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I need a burrito and a hug.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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