I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
