i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
You've changed since you got that strap on
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
