did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
