Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
