You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize
