so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
