she looked like the before picture.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
