Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
