He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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