Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
