T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
