I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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