It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Randomize
