I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
