Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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