well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
