sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
