We're facebook friends in real life
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
